Wedding Plans 3
Trying a new update time, so if you see this after 5 am CST automatically, the updater is working again. If not, I will update manually and type “GOD DAMN IT” below.
I’ll admit that my racial sensitivity when it comes to Hebrew folks is a wiggling needle that I consistently try to tune better, as a bunch of my friends are Jews. Most of the ones I know don’t follow dietary law, which led to some hilarity a few years back when they came to one of our barbecues and I proudly noted that I’d gotten them some all-beef smoked sausage. (And they laughed and ate the pork ribs.) Other friends of the Hebrew notion ARE dietary strict, so it’s like… man. I have to ask them things instead of assuming. Maybe the Jewish folks can start, I dunno, giving themselves a visual marker that we Gentiles can see, without asking? To keep us from assuming anything, or accidentally making a cultural faux pas. I dunno, maybe they could all get a tattoo on their forearms?
(Please send all pitchforks and torches and grenades and pipe bombs to someone else. I really don’t give a shit if you found this offensive.)
Racism is such a fun topic, don’t you think? Yep, let’s blow up the comments section of this one. Like a Palestinian.
I still think Sir Minchin has the right idea.
[EDIT] God damn it.[/edit]
Heh. “Skull Doiley”.
Haven’t you heard? Racism is ok unless you’re white.
Lots of Jews are pretty white…
There is no way Khazar schnauze can be mistaken for tr00 aryan purity.
Update works. I’m in Kansas.
Jewish *women* don’t wear yarmulkes – only men and boys do. And an observant Jew wouldn’t have tattoos; there’s a passage in Leviticus about marking one’s skin, either as a gesture of mourning or for other reasons, being offensive to God (although medically necessary tattoos, such as the alignment marks for radiation treatments, or “permanent cosmetics” to cover scars, are okay). Alex’s revealing clothing styles also violate Jewish custom. And I’ll bet she *loves* good ‘cue!
Well, I was more going for a historically offensive joke about holocaust tattoos.
You know, instead of a tattoo, which would violate Leviticus, maybe an article of clothing would work. A yellow six-pointed star, maybe. (I am really surprised no one else suggested that, being has how I am so late.)
Yeah, I thought that was pretty obvious. I mean, really, ace, have you not seen X-Men: First Class?
No.
Oh. Well, some of the same information is available in Schindler’s List.
Still, markers on the clothing, like those trendy yellow stars, are OK by the Old Testament and Talmud.
I’m sure you could still come up with a sufficiently offensive joke about the holocaust – Omar’s got to be a great source of misinformation. (Absolutely none of the prohibitions about tattoos apply if a person was given the tattoo *involuntarily*. And, although there’s a persistent rumor that a Jew can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery if she/he has a tattoo for any reason, all those number-tattooed holocaust survivors were just as eligible for religious burial as any other Jew.)
Yeah, those nazis really knew how to rub it in…
Some women do wear yarmulkes. They tend to be progressive lesbians in my experience*, but devout nonetheless.
* my experience is full of way more progressive lesbians than average. YMMV.
Good god. I thought it was just in Montreal (unless, of course, you’re in Montreal).
Asking “Does she observe Kosher laws?” is a legitimate and socially polite question and not racist.
Tattoos and body art is considered a bigger transgression than violating kosher law, so I guess she isn’t strictly observant.
Any place that has pork ribs has a great smoked beef brisket, too.
That is a very broad statement. There is a BBQ joint here in Arlington(TX) that has great ribs but the brisket is…well it was less than satisfactory.
Not really true. Actually I have found exactly the opposite. Usually they either have really good ribs, or they have really good brisket, or they end up with both that are decent. Not that a place with great ribs will necessarily have bad brisket. Just not great.
This is absolutely true. If you want great of something, you have to go specialized (either specialize in brisket OR ribs). Places that cover all meats can and usually do have good stuff either way, but you won’t get great brisket if the place is trying to be great at ribs as well.
“Does anyone have any dietary restrictions?” is a much better way to ask. Covers people who have food restrictions for any reasons: health, ethics, or religion.
Always been the way I phrase it.
It also allows for people that have a mental block on certain foods to avoid being laughed at (it’s a genuine situation; usually a traumatic memory associated with a particular food) as I don’t demand reasons why.
Synagogue potlucks are strictly pescatarian. Dairy, eggs, veggies and fish ONLY. Saves all the worry about contamination of meat/milk in the same dish, and if not all of your household are Jewish or kosher-observant, just keep a couple of cooking dishes for pork and shellfish to one side.
Being allergic to shellfishies, I have no trouble keeping *that* part of the restrictions!
My way, ” here is the menu. The stove and grill are open if you need it.” I will try to work with some peoples restrictions. But the Allergy assholes, can bring their own meal.
Heh. If’n you see me heading for the ribs – or the sausage – or the shrimp or lobster – it’s a pretty darned good bet that I don’t keep kosher. Thanks for asking, though. (And yeah, I prefer pork ribs to cow ribs.)
Interestingly enough, that’s how I found out one of my friends was Jewish. We were having a cookout, and there were really good bacon wrapped shrimp kebobs, and other assorted sea creatures. He was chowing down on the kebobs, and he says, “I really shouldn’t be eating these.”
I asked, “Why, are you allergic?”
“Nope, Jewish.”
“Sooooo… You’re going to hell?”
“Something like that, but these are damn good.”
It’s been my experience that that most Jews are ok with being asked if they are observant when you invite them to something like a party or cook out. They appreciate that you are trying to take there background into account an make them feel welcome as friends.
Damnit, Omar was actually trying to be sensitive here…..
And “neph” with a “k”??!?
Observant Jew here. One of the peculiarities of many of my fellow Jews folks is that they keep kosher in the home, but all bets are off anywhere else. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose…
I dated an Israeli for a few years back in the 90’s…..her viewpoint was that her religion doesn’t expect her to starve herself if she can’t find a kosher place to eat away from home (the question came up because I love to BBQ and like doing things like Bacon wrapped Dates.)
I actually work with a few Muslims that are of the same viewpoint about eating Halal outside of the home.
As a denizen of Berlin I’m kinda not exactly proud that I have no jewish aquaintances outside of my own family. However, I do have a lot of friends from Turkish/Arabian immigrant families. And I only let them in if they bring their own beer.
Germans and their nigardly attitude.
Don’t know what you are.
However, you’re setting quite a shiny example of whatever it is.
How so? An obvious joke at the expense of a person being nigardly with his beer.
Of course you may not get it. As I have been around a lot of Baptists I learned to always make them bring their own, or invite more then one. As one Baptist will drink all the beer. This is an interesting spin on that.
Or maybe you don’t know what nigardly means? I don’t think that word means what you think it means….
Niggardly, fellows. Two n’s.
I meant two g’s. 😛
Well, the term “niggardly” is a strange choice when so much perfectly sufficient alternatives are available.
But the blunder is actually mine, since I generalized the style of beer supply I’m used to.
When you happen to live on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th floor, you tend to not haul up stuff for nefarious purpose. I don’t store beer in my fridge, since drinking alone is silly. When people, who live in strolling distance, visit me, I expect them to bring the drinks required; shops are there aplenty and they are open deep into the night.
When
the vermin is golfing with my kitchen appliancesI don’t wanna have people in my dominium it’s, of course, me to supply the beer. In fact, it’s the most common courtesy.Wanna tell the observant Jews from the non-observant? Put some bacon-wrapped & cheese stuffed shrimp on a plate and see who goes for it. Works on Muslims too.
3 words… Bacon Wrapped ANYTHING!
I have found out that almost none of my Jewish friends are observant when it comes to bacon.
Of course, for my observant friends, I get a tray of Turkey Bacon wrapped stuff, and they go at it.
Because bacon is meat candy.
I would say more like meat cocaine.
Clarification on directions: Do not snort bacon.
You do not have tastebuds in your nose, and as such are wasting its potential.
But, The Smell!
Judaism isn’t a race. I think you don’t know what the word racism means.
Yeah, I know it is stupid but the word “racism” has been ruined for me.
That’s debatable.
I am in no way observant of Jewish practices, I do not believe in god nor do I consider myself a member of the Jewish religion, and yet ask most people I know and they will tell you that I am a Jew. If that’s not a race or an ethnicity I’m not sure what is.
That being said, I’m open to the idea that I really may not be a Jew, but you’ll have to prove that Judaism is only a religion, first.
Ah, there you are.
Good point.
We debated this issue, casually but at length, in one of my classes, years ago.. the consensus at the end, was that Jews are a “people”. Definitely a strong ethnic group, and sort of a race, but one that you can convert to, unlike any other race on earth. As the prof pointed out.
😀 :p
Oops, wrong html..thing. The italics were supposed be on “sort of”, only. 😀
Plus ca change..
Really, “race” to me implies breeding incompatibility, or at the very least that the offspring would be some kind of evolutionary dead-end.
On the other hand, I think tribalism is a far more accurate description of the issue.
The term you’re thinking of is “species”. Generally, if two individual examples are capable of breeding and producing fertile offspring, they’re considered members of the same species.
We’re all homo sapiens. Two people of different races will produce a child that is capable of producing more children. To the extent that “race” is externally visible, biologically speaking, it’s a set of pretty superficial differences in appearance. (We’ve also constructed some fairly major social bullshit around it, sadly.)
The fuzzy ground is that we’re all taught that we’re “the human race”. I can see how that muddies the water.
Yeah, people throw racism accusation at all kinds of xenophobia these days, it really devaluates the term. As my friend joked: ”I’m not racist I just hate Latinos and Italians.”
Congratulations, jlgrant, I believe this is the first time I’ve read one of your posts and said “Holy shit, he did not just say that.”
Of course, I said it while laughing…
What is worse is when people have dietary restrictions yet don’t need to. There are a lot of people who THINK they might have celiac’s and want everyone to know they are special and need gluten free products.
I fancied a pudding after dinner in the pub at the end of a hike once. Having looked at the menu and the Specials board, I went for the ginger sponge. The man at the bar warned me that it was gluten-free, like there was some serious danger involved in eating gluten-free stuff if you don’t need to.
It’s good that they have gluten-free stuff there, but you’d think people would know enough to guess it’s okay that it doesn’t contain something. If someone’s buying a bar of chocolate, you don’t stop him to make sure he knows it doesn’t contain nuts, do you?
In the US, at least, that chocolate bar would have to include in the information on the label, “WARNING: This product was made in a facilty that also processes peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, and soy.” (Or other common allergens – there’s a specific list, which also includes eggs, wheat, and a few other things.) The chances of there being any cross-contamination may be vanishingly small, but they need to cover their ass in case someone with a nut allergy goes into anaphylactic shock after a bite of that chocolate.
Yeah, we have that here too.
Clear plastic tub full of nuts
72-point font letters embossed in the lid: “Go NUTS!”
72-point print on the front of the label: “Go NUTS!”
18-point print under that: “Assorted mixed nuts”
12-point print on the back of the label: “Ingredients: _____ nuts, _____ nuts, _____ nuts, _____ nuts, _____ nuts, _____ nuts”
6-point font under that: “Warning: contains nuts”
Apparently it’s due to some lawyer who bought a clearly labelled maple and pecan slice, knowing that pecans are nuts and he was allergic to nuts, took a bite, suffered an allergic reaction, sued the bakery and won. If only he’d been shot instead, eh?
Just as a sidebar, WTF is a “slice”? Here in the US, we would say a slice OF ____; is it like cake, or more like a bar cookie?
Let the Barbeque Wars commence!
With the bacon eating contest between Israeli and Palestinian delegation to decide the fate of the Holly Land!
I’m wiling to stand in as a non-affiliated substitute for either party, if they feel they need a champion for their cause…
I had a Jewish friend of mine get all in my grill for not putting bacon or cheese on his burger.
Yah GOTTA ask! Even if you look like a schmeel.
OTOH, I had a Jewish shipmate who ate a lot of PB&J; We used to joke that the Supply Officer owned a hog farm, for all the pork product he ordered. Poor Lenny would hit the mess decks, look at the serve line, start cursing, and head over for the sandwich makin’s… 😀
Heh…until we got a new SuppO and Mess Chief, most of us (Jewish or not) would hit the mess decks, look at the ‘food’, start cursing, and make PB&Js as well.
On most boats and ships, that’s a fair point. On the UstaFish, the Chop (SuppO) was actually pretty damn good – aside from his inordinate fondness of pork. The Mess Cooks were *very* damned good – One was snatched up to the personal cook for a SUBLANT admiral. Bastard… >:(
Then again – There was an observant Jew at work who announced he’d given up bacon for Lent.
It can get weird out there.
…So wear a raincoat.
It occurs to me that one does not normally “Whack” folks with a yarmulke. Just what does Omar think they’re made of… Plaster?
Brass. Still, it’s not the impact of the that does the damage. It’s the spillage of hot wax from the seven candles in it.
I’ll get that right when the non-religious Jew running our RPG evenings finally gets “clip” and “magazine” right. If only I could legally own a supply of such things I’d take them with me just to throw at him whenever he gets it wrong.
So, you live in D.C, then? 😀
Also: Brass yarmulkes should have razor edges, so they can be used as chakram.
…Wait. Maybe I’ve just outed a Mossad secret… o.O If you hear about long-range decapitations in the Mid-Atlantic region, that’s probably me. 😛
You can own magazines and clips in the UK. I have several for my Smith & Wesson 22lr M&P and one for my Mark no 4 Lee enfield rifle. Also I also have several clips for my enfield as well.
How is Adam these days? 🙂
What’s all the fuss about anyway. You can barbecue beef too, right?
Racist joke i best joke.
5:03 CST, no update… the time difference makes these autoupdate breakdowns worse. 🙁
In soviet Russia, auto update updates you.
I keep trying various troubleshooting, to no avail. The auto updater just flat out refuses to do its shit after the most recent WP upgrade.
Ah the joys of software updating, when under identical conditions you are egliable for multiple different outcomes.
I explain to people that in order to work IT, you are required to be a little crazy. Do the same thing over and over so you get different results.
OMG YOU POSTED MINCHIN’S PEACE ANTHEM!!! 😀 😀 😀 <3 <3 <3
Tattoo of pig smiling giving a thumbs-up: Pork Ok!
Tattoo of pig frowning with the slashed circle over it: Kosher only.