Wedding Plans 5
May07
I dated a woman of Mexican heritage, for a very short time, back in the 1990s.
She never introduced me to her family. In fact, she kept me the fuck away from them. To be fair, we met at a goth club, and it was never a “serious” relationship. But she noted to me several times that she came from a “big family”, and her brothers would not have approved of our trysts. Or her mother. Or her grandmother, who apparently lived with her and the rest of the clan.
So yeah, let’s see what happens to Omar!
My experience was the same, dating a Hispanic woman, their men hated it.
The only thing women with guns do to me is get me perked. there’s nothing more erotic than a 6’2″ astoundingly attractive redheaded woman getting noticeably aroused at firing a gun for the first time. too bad the wife was standing next to me as well. 🙁
Intimidate me? Oh, HELL no! Turn me on? Oh, yeah – I grew up reading Heinlein, so my ideal of a woman is someone all-around competent… and that includes being able to shoot.
My fiancee is a fellow Appleseed Instructor – we fell in love at the gun club, shooting once or twice a week to keep our own skills sharp (it was a tossup as to whether we did more talking or shooting…). Her engagement ring? Laser etched onto the slide of the Colt Officer’s ACP that she always used to swipe from me at the monthly bowling pin shoots. She’ll be wearing it when we get married in 10 days.
Dude – I hope this comic really brings it home to you that you have a fucking hideous couch.
Is THAT what it’s supposed to be!? 😮
“Marrying a Hispanic girl from an immigrant family is a-ok with me, but CALIFORNIANS!!!!”
I’m not sure how to feel about the influx of Californians in Texas. So many pros and cons on that, and of course it varies on a case-by-case basis. On one hand, there’s folks fleeing the state of high taxes and high regulations and I can sympathize with them for voting with their feet and wallets. On the other hand, I worry about some of them bringing their high tax/high regulation political leanings into the state. Also on that other hand, them selling their one-bedroom dilapidated shacks in CA for a mil and a half and then coming here and buying 4 bedroom, 6.5 bath McMansions here really raises property values out of (my) reach.
Trust me, if texas is the place we decided to flee to, we are not gonna bring any of that bullshit with us.
-Stuck in commiefornia
“Trust me, if texas is the place we decided to flee to, we are not gonna bring any of that bullshit with us. ”
That’s what Denver is for, right?
(Or so it appeared, 15 years ago…)
Denver. Vail. Steamboat. Aspen…
I’m a native son of California (3rd gen – we were there before the whackos!), but we were chased out of state by the increasing stupidity, even back in the early 70s. Then chased out of Colorado by the increasing stupidity in the late 70s. Only to land in Maryland.
Outta da frying pan, and into de fire… 😛
Bet them Native Coloradoans wish they hadn’t chased off the Texans and stuck to beating on the Californians now. Instead they ended up with California of the Rockies.
Us native Coloradans where hoping the texans and Californians would kill most of each other off and the weather and altitude would get the rest. Sadly it didn’t work so most of us had to settle for selling the otherwise not-of-much-use land along the front range for ridiculous sums of money to the aforementioned soft headed oxygen starved lowlanders and either A. moved to higher, lowlander killing elevations or B. (in my case) moving someplace as nice and far cheaper like Oregon.
I noticed those elevations. Having lived and worked at sea level for a few years, I rented a motorbike and drove up through the Painted Desert and Monument Valley and then up into a Colorado ski resort. My sinuses got so flooded I looked like one of the vampires out of Buffy. Wouldn’t have happened back when I used to ski the Alps, but that’s an expensive hobby that just gets more expensive as you get better (because the faster you get down the slope, the more of your limited time you spend on the lifts rather than on the slopes).
I hate that folks are building in the front range . I used to climb around on the front range when I was a kid… Could find old Indian campsites in a few places, if you knew where to look.
Now it’s all cut-up and ugly. 🙁
I exited WA after 34 years due to Californication (Know why you can’t get a blowjob in CA anymore? All them cocksuckers moved up here!) and parked in TX. Not even considering moving back.
I would definitely flee if I had a good shot at it. I’m sick of the regulations on everything, huge government, and people always trying to tell you what to do and how to do it. I’ve lived in other places, and seen that there are so many options and other ways to do simply everything. Try telling that to someone who’s either never left this state and knows nothing else, or the crazy liberals who keep coming because it’s crazy liberal land now. GAH!
I really like Destinee!
Sometimes the hypertext makes me laugh harder than anything in the strip proper. This is one of those times.
Not only am I not itimidated by women with guns, I have a bit of a crush on a certain instructor I know (Hi Rachel!)
If I am at all intimidated, it is because she is hot, not because she is armed.
“… whether or not [women] should be allowed to use self-defence tools.” You know what? The fact that someone suggested they shouldn’t (but men should) is reason enough for women to be allowed to purchase, own, carry and use guns, knives, staves and maces.
Maces. Not mace. That stuff won’t collapse a lung.
I’m not ruling out the naginata. I just think it’s a little impractical for routine carry. If you live in Solihull, it may be a worthwhile investment.
Don’t forget machetes. From what I hear, they are pretty high up on the “things I don’t want inside me” list.
Most of that stuff doesn’t much scare me. What scares me? Stilettos. The weapon, not the shoes.
Oh, wait…
Seriously now, those fuckers will straight up kill you. And not in a nice way. Shoes OR blades. A knife wound is most likely to be bloody, but those are rarely fatal. Bunt force? Sacrifice an arm to be broken, then run – you’ll most likely live. But a Stiletto goes in with limited resistance, and will randomize the shit out of very small but very important parts of your anatomy, causing all your operative juices to leak into places they shouldn’t be. Fatally.
Wouldn’t much the same injuries by stiletto also fall under “being stabbed by a screwdriver”? Cheaper, easier to get, who’s gonna bust you for carrying one?, and a known zombie-killer (watch original ‘Dawn of the Dead’).
Yes and no. A stiletto has such a narrow and thin point it will slip easily between ribs unless you strike a rib dead on. A screwdriver has a thin, but also rather wide point that can very easiely get caught on the side/edge of a rib. Also, stilettos do have an edged blade which helps in lacerating organs it passes, a screwdriver does not have this.
Not that a screwdriver in the guts won´t hurt as hell and quite possibly kill you…
Icepick is the logical extension of a screwdriver, and yeah, that can kill you really really dead, but it’s not the lethal bitch a Stiletto is. Screwdrivers tent to rip and tear, and those jagged torn edges make excellent places for clotting to happen – and the don’t bleed as fast in the first place. Icepicks don’t tear, but they also don’t slice. The puncture wounds they make tend to close up and leak slowly.
But the Stiletto creates narrow, hard-to-treat, nigh-impossible-to-bandage, very deep wounds with very lengthy clean edges which bleed copiously. And direct pressure won’t save you – you may keep the blood inside your body, but if it’s not inside your arteries and veins, that’s not a whole lot of consolation. Closest comparison is a hunting broadhead. Except the broadhead will not only fuck you up permanent-like, but it does so on the express plan.
I do modern sabre fencing. There have been a number of penetration wounds in the last few years from unbroken sabre tips. In case you haven’t seen one, the sabre blade ends in a rounded loop 4mm wide ( minimum ). Not even as sharp as a flathead screwdriver, in other words, and at the end of an 88cm-long blade much more flexible than any screwdriver.
These have gone completely through gloved hands, and in several cases have entered through the glove at the hand or wrist and traveled inside the arm as far as the elbow.
If these can penetrate like this, I suspect that a screwdriver would have no problem whatsoever doing it. A Philips-head one still less.
Meanwhile, there is a parallel for this stiletto-as-superkiller hypothesis: the late-form rapier. And from the historical record these did not kill people any more surely than other swords.
The “edge wounds but the point kills” theory has a certain intuitive appeal, but isn’t borne out by any evidence I have ever seen.
Don’t tell that to Napoleon – That was the major point (Heh!) he used to hammer home at his calvary troops: “The Point! The Point!” he yell at them.
Also: General George Patton (US Army’s last Master of the Sword, designer of the M1913 Saber) believed in the point (as did the English Masters of the Sword, whom designed the saber he tweaked into the M1913). One look a the killing tool he created will tell you the opinion of a professional military man of the value of the point.
Then there are combat stilettos like the Fairbairn-Sykes fighting knife; designed by combat soldiers to kill efficiently.
I’ll stand by my point (heh!)
(BTW: Rapiers and epees (BiL is a university-level fencer, Epee primarily) make nasty wounds – But if you’re comparing a button-tip to a razored edge, there’s a long stretch between the two)
That so-and-so was an advocate of such-and-such weapon is not proof that the weapon worked better in practice. I doubt that the Patton sabre ever killed more than a handful of men in combat, for instance. If you are going to use the point from horseback, you are better off with a lance anyway.
If we’re dropping English names, George Silver derided the point in favor of the ‘downright edge-blow’, the rapier in favor of the broadsword.
And Monty Python and the SCA aside, you can survive multiple puncture wounds—many duelists did—but you lose a leg or arm and you are at the very least out of the fight and probably out of your life. Few survive decapitation, either. Or a split skull. Or—
The point 🙂 about the fencing sabre is that it’s going well into people, sometimes through them, even with a looped safety tip—and it’s going through gloves and clothing first. If a blunt point like that can do it, so can just about anything.
Wrong there. Underside of your arms, sides of your torso, neck, abdomen, insides of the thighs — a number of places where if you’re cut deeply (we’re talking just a few inches here, not something that requires dismemberment) you’ll bleed out inside of a few minutes. There are places on your body where you can be cut (we’re not talking deep stab wounds here, but slashes and gouges from a knife slash or cut) safely, to the tune where you’ll bleed out in hours if unattended. But those other areas will generate spurting wounds that will have you in shock in a minute or less, dead in less than 5.
Takes a bit of luck or trained skill to hit those points, and more than a bit of determination or rage to make the cuts deep enough. Lethal stab wounds can easily be (and have been) accomplished by even a panicked child with the right kind of narrow-bladed implement.
Are we talking ‘Solihull’ as in ‘quiet little West Midlands town that’s about as scary as a marshmallow Peep’?
No way do you need a naginata. A stern note to the local paper will do.
That was sarcasm.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ten-best-places-to-live-in-the-uk-solihull-comes-top-8938636.html
#1? Ye gods. I usually only read those lists to check if I need to defend my choice of location to relatives, something that’s gotten a lot easier now I don’t live opposite a meth lab and next door to the local crack dealer.
I don’t technically own weapons, but I have a lot of things that can be used as weapons. A 15-inch razor-sharp Japanese chef’s knife that’s never seen food. Fencing weapons that are a little sharper than expected. ‘Reproduction’ swords. A couple of LARP shields with plenty of laminated layers.
If we had private gun ownership, I’d apply for a license for home defence reasons. I wouldn’t get it, because of the mental health clause.
We do have private gun ownership. You can own a gun to protect your crops and your horses’ legs from rabbits and their holes, to protect your chickens from foxes, to protect your lambs from foxes (which is very seldom necessary, as foxes tend to only attack lambs that are already dead) or to shatter clay pigeons (but you have to have been a member of the club for a year before you can get your own gun to use there). Protecting yourself or your children, though? That’s not considered a legitimate reason to want a firearm. It is a valid reason to have one on you if you can demonstrate that you had good cause to believe you were about to need it, although I think you’re supposed to call the police and hide under the bed or desk instead of going outside.
.177 underlever or pre-charged air rifle up to 11.99 foot-pounds-force of muzzle energy? Not officially a firearm at all. Have to be 18 to own it and can’t lend it to under-14s without supervising them, but that’s about it. Not in the same league as a .22LR and about 3% as powerful as a standard 9mm, but if you catch someone climbing in through your window wearing only a condom, a balaclava and a pair of latex gloves and carrying a roll of duct take and a big knife, putting the muzzle against his eye and discharging the weapon will change the entire course of his evening and yours … and ruin his hair. It is a lethal weapon.
I do know of the situations where gun ownership is permitted, but your average urban-dwelling citizen isn’t on that list. My experience with firearms is mostly game hunting-related, something I’ve not done is ages although bunny bagging is easy enough to set up.
Damn, now I want rabbit for lunch.
I am currently having rabbit for lunch. There are also many people in an urban setting with guns. I am one of them. I have them for target shooting,but I know people with land and could easily change my license conditions to take them hunting.
last 4 strips funnier than s–t … love the “commiefornian” term… will definitely remember to use that ( just like the LEFT Coast)… and what’s up with the cat ??
A ‘Leather company’ you say? *Waggles eyebrows Groucho Marx style* ;D
Bdsm FTW!
Wow. I dated a Mexican chick in high school. I learned the hard way you are also dating all her brothers. They didn’t like me. I showed them my AR and my Model 10. Then they really didn’t like me.
Good times… Good times…
What’s wrong with bringing tortillas to the party? Tortillas are always in order!
At least, some good tortilla chips ..