The Argument 1
Break out the popcorn buckets.
So the story is growing in audience. As noted in previous posts, Mel and I are burners. And on Saturday, something new happened at a regional burn in Utah. Namely: during the effigy burn at a regional in Utah, a dude jumped into the effigy fire and died.
The news rippled through the burner community, and everyone is shocked and horrified. Most of them are assuming suicide,a nd even law enforcement has said the same.
Now, here’s the thing:
I found a video of the dude in his last moments on earth, and I don’t think it was attempted suicide.
I’m not posting the video I found, sorry, it’s one that was made privately available. But I’ve watched it repeatedly, and I really do think this guy was just high and/or drunk, and decided to see if he could make a legend of his name by running through the effigy fire and coming out the other side. Let me repeat that, as it bears a little breakdown: this dude thought, in his (probably VERY inebriated) state of mind, that he could run THROUGH the effigy, which was likely flaming at over 1000 degrees F at the time.
Not smart, no. But if you see the video, he doesn’t have the air of a suicide. He has the demeanor of Evel Kneivel psyching up for a badass stunt. In reality, the best case he could have expected? He runs through a 20 yard wide bonfire at speed, fries 80% of his body, and dies a week later in a burn ward.
That’s not what happened, of course. In the video, you can see him run in, and hit the flaming structure at speed. It shudders and he’s down and gone. Leaving behind a fire team that has no idea what to do at first, but then realizes that the dude’s a fucking lost cause anyway.
So yeah. This isn’t even about being at a burn. The moral of this story? Don’t fucking try to run through bonfires, no matter how hella bitchin’ rad you think people will call you if you pull it off. You won’t pull it off. You will sizzle and cook and die in the most painful way possible. You will seriously fuck up the minds of everyone who was there, and not in a good way.
Don’t be that guy.
Y’know, the whole SparkleDarkArc is really Mick’s fault (surprise!). He never asked, on-screen at least, if she uses. He simply asked, “Can you pass a drug test?” Try to fire her on that basis, and… bad things will happen.
Well, TX is an at-will employment state, so AFAIK, they can fire her for pretty much anything as long as it has nothing to do with the protected classes.
I don’t know, I kind of think “using drugs at work and risking the business losing its license” would count as a fire-able offense. I mean, I doubt Mick asked, “are you going to be selling child pornography while at work” and IANAL, but I’m pretty sure he could still legally let her go if she was. Aside from “don’t use drugs at work” being kind of a no-brainer anyway, “can you pass a drug test” is a reasonable indicator that being drug-free is a precondition of employment even if it’s not phrased in exactly that manner.
There is an urban myth that the Chinese ideogram for “trouble” is “2 women under 1 roof”, but it’s situations like this that give the concept credence.
On your assessment of the guy at Element 11… totally agreed. I also found a vid (may not be the same one) and it really does look like he thinks hes going to come out the other side. Fire is a bit hard to read temp on video, but my 30 years of staring into a blacksmiths forge says its in the 1250-1400 degree range at the core… and there is a LOT of it so the radiant energy is friggin nasty (ie, you can feel heat from the infrared coming off a fire). Even if he hadn’t gone in, just circled it close, he would have been torn up something awful.
And I can’t even imagine whats going through the heads of the safety crew around the effigy. Thoughts go out to them and everyone else in the community.
I pray for the soul of that poor guy, and may God be with everyone who had to see that. 🙁
So (and this is probably a tangent) suicide is defined as “killing oneself intentionally”… what do you call “killing oneself accidentally”?
This is going to be a really, really bad joke… so brace yourself. “BooBoocide”
“Killing oneself accidentally” is called “stupidity”.
This right here.
If you do it in a hilarious way, Darwin Award
ONLY if you don’t reproduce beforehand.
I’m willing to give darwin awards to survivors who lose the ability to reproduce through misadventure, on that basis, too.
According to Darwin Award rules that is a legal way to get the award.
IIRC there was this guy that got an honerary from the Darwin Awards site for having fun with bottle, warm water and dry ice.
He survived, but ain´t ever going to reproduce.
I believe the term is “death by misadventure.” IANAL, but that seems to be the legal term for “he died because somebody did something really stupid.” Maybe “suicide by misadventure” would be slightly more specific; either way, I think “misadventure” is the word you want.
I’d go with stupid. Drunk and stupid is frequently fatal, though not always in such an upsetting way.
One has to wonder if he said the requisite “hold my beer and watch this” beforehand.
Actually, I’m with what dex said below: I think it must have been something a lot more mind-altering than alcohol. Alcohol is pretty good at shutting down inhibitions, but “large fire is dangerous” is an awfully strong and primal survival instinct. You need to completely short-circuit one or more of the unconscious realizations “that’s a large fire,” “fire can kill,” or “I can be killed,” and alcohol alone can’t do that – at least not alcohol in any quantity that leaves you able to run without tripping over your own feet.
I have been asking that question lately, ever since some pedant told me that a toddler crawling under the sink and drinking drano isn’t a suicide. I asked “Well, what IS it, then?” and apparently there’s no word for it, since “egocide” got co-opted, decades ago.
I’ve seen the video that was shot from 90 degrees widdershins around the circle from his entry point, so he ran left-to-right into the fire. It looked to me like he was tripping his balls off, and something had shut down the “OMGWTFBBQ you’re gonna DIE if you do that” instinct.
5 Rules of Tripping:
1. My name is [name] and I live at [address, city, state]
2. Fire is pretty, but WILL BURN YOU.
3. Cars are real and they will hurt you.
4. You can not fly.
5. You’re tripping, and will come down.
Back in the day, we used to each recite that every time we dropped. (…and often multiple times during the trip, because it turns out that, while very important to remember, those Rules are also really funny when you’re blown out of your mind.) Sounds like this guy could’ve used the Rules.
Those sound like just the kinda thing to keep you grounded. I use a similar tactic with extremely drunk people/people in shock etc. It goes:
What’s your name?
Your full name?
Where are you from?
Your high school?
Favourite subject?
Favourite teacher?
etc. Just brings people down to earth quickly.
Huh. I just noticed that I switched from “my” to “you” in my recitation of the rules; that is, switched from the “reciting myself” form to the “telling someone else” form. Oops. You get the idea.
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that same video, and I agree with you and James. I’ve also seen various comments from people reporting to know this guy who questioned the suicide explanation. Although, since they ARE just random comments on the internet, take them with a grain of salt.
On a different tangent, is there any way to locate burns in my area? Like a webpage or something?
Here’s a start: http://regionals.burningman.com/regionals/north-america/
Thanks.
Of course I hunted down the video on Youtube, and there’s a version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a9JfxF6FGXU (ff to about 2:45) where you can see the guy run in, but then it looks like he runs right out again in the same direction he came from. Did someone else run by trying to stop him or did he just fake his own death or what?
That’s a Ranger or other safety person running around past where he went in.
I thought it might be. Just looked weird on the video. I agree with the head burner up there…the guy thought he was gonna be famous. There’s vids of drunk guys on youtube doing permanent damage to their vocal chords in similar fashion, trying to blow fire.
Wow. That’s horrible.
Recently bought the Celldweller Wish Upon A Blackstar album and haven’t stopped listening to it since!
Amazing album, love So Long Sentiment and Eon, amazing songs throughout.
This is why we MUST have stricter fire control laws. SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Also, I’m pretty sure you did this early on in your run, but, Bechdel Test passed, bitches!