I always get a little aggro at people who call this “Turkey Day.” Turkey is a real nation, and has nothing to do with the bird. Yes, I am a pedantic fuck. Shut up. You love me anyway.
Gobble gobble, you bastards. May you eat 10x your average caloric intake today, and enjoy this day of excess and gluttony. I know I will. Hell, as you read this, I may be facedown in a stonking pile of naked tits. Because that’s how we roll in our house.