Sorry guys. We can’t do this anymore. I know, we’re leaving you hanging, but between our campaign to re-elect Obama for a third term, and our newfound jobs stuffing envelopes for the Brady campaign, we just don’t have time to do this comic anymore.

So here’s the TL;DR: version of the plotline.

– Maria and Omar get married. She has a dozen anchor babies with him, until he discovers she’s been stealing welfare tax money from America, at which point he kills her, straps 16 sticks of dynamite to his stomach, and blows up an IRS building for Ron Paul.
– Mick continues to date both Alex AND Heidi. They both go full lesbian behind his back, and steal everything he’s worth before they run off to Commiefornia to get gay married.
– Tom goes on to become President of the USA.

We’re sorry we can’t illustrate this plotline for you, but we’re a little too busy spreading socialism and braiding hemp weaves into each others’ hair. Please forgive us.

In Jesus’ name,