The plot’s been cranking along, so I’mma fuck it all up with a bad pun. You knew what I was when you picked me up. Hehehehehe.

No, really, I felt ashamed of doing this joke. But only a little.

So… I have a bombshell to drop on you. Grab a drink. Strap into your favorite chair. This is going to blow your mind. Seriously, get ready. You will be rocked to the core.

Ready?

Really?

Alright then…

3… 2… 1…

It turns out that when it comes to guns, criminals don’t give fuck #1 about gun control laws.

You may now resume breathing. Let the shock wear off. Shhhhhh. It’s gonna be okay.

If you need assistance after this revelation, here’s a help line for you.